It Runs in the Family

Have you ever wondered what God meant by the refrain "I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me" (Ex. 20:5, ESV)? What does God mean when He says He will punish multiple generations for a sin they did not even commit? Isn't that unfair?

I doubt very much that it is unfair. It is God's prerogative to punish sins as He chooses, and since we are all in a state of sin, we are all under His judgement, and His judgement is just. We don't get a vote. So if my great-grandfather committed adultery 100 years ago, am I to be punished for that?

Maybe that's the case, maybe it's not. But perhaps another way to look at it would be in expanding our understanding of judgement. In his book "What's So Amazing About Grace," Phillip Yancey tells the story of a grandmother, a mother, and a son, all in the same family, and all struggling with the sin of bitterness. As a young child, the grandmother had grown up in a family of negativity and bitterness. In turn, she had become bitter towards her father, who was oppressive, hateful, and left the family. Resolving not to make the same mistakes with her own kids, the grandmother raised the mother and never left the family, but still cultivated the same environment of hate and spite in her own family. Reacting against the grandmother's abuses, the mother vowed to do things differently, but when her son turned out to be a deadbeat, she refused to love him and became bitter towards him. The grown up son repeated the same mistakes.

The sin of the grandmother (and her father) was passed down to the mother and eventually to the son, and onwards. The sin of spite and bitterness ran in the family and infected it like a disease. For the sins of the great-grandfather, the third and fourth generation had been punished. But not by fire and brimstone. Rather, their punishment was something just as bad, if not worse. It was God giving them over to their own sinful desires, and this is one of the most virulent forms of judgement. And we deserve it.

Sin and judgement can often times run in the family. Your and my idols are likely to be the idols of our families stretching back generations, and this is natural under the curse. The good news is that this makes them easy to identify and that we are not alone. The bad news is that self-awareness is not enough. Self-awareness must be combined with faith and rest in the One who can break the cycle. And through growth in Him, we will by His grace. We would do well to remember that.