How Fleeting I Am!

I turned 21 the other day. It wasn’t a terribly big deal for me, but it wasn’t a day of celebration either. I guess that a lot of people get excited when their birthdays come around, but I’ve never been that type. In fact, I’m just the opposite: I tend to get a little depressed every time my birthday comes around. I can’t quite put my finger on why, but I guess I’m sorta sentimental and I just don’t like getting older. That’s why I’m glad I ran across Psalm 39 a few days before the big day:

"I said, "I will guard my ways, that I may not sin with my tongue; I will guard my mouth with a muzzle, so long as the wicked are in my presence." 2 I was mute and silent; I held my peace to no avail, and my distress grew worse. 3 My heart became hot within me. As I mused, the fire burned; then I spoke with my tongue: 4 "O LORD, make me know my end and what is the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting I am! 5 Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths, and my lifetime is as nothing before you. Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath! Selah 6 Surely a man goes about as a shadow! Surely for nothing they are in turmoil; man heaps up wealth and does not know who will gather! 7 "And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you. 8 Deliver me from all my transgressions. Do not make me the scorn of the fool! 9 I am mute; I do not open my mouth, for it is you who have done it. 10 Remove your stroke from me; I am spent by the hostility of your hand. 11 When you discipline a man with rebukes for sin, you consume like a moth what is dear to him; surely all mankind is a mere breath! Selah 12 "Hear my prayer, O LORD, and give ear to my cry; hold not your peace at my tears! For I am a sojourner with you, a guest, like all my fathers. 13 Look away from me, that I may smile again, before I depart and am no more!" (Psalm 39, ESV)

It’s a pretty straightforward Psalm it seems to me. David is having an existential crisis of sorts, perhaps even a midlife crisis. Suddenly, something rushes upon him. It is the feeling of his own fleetingness. I’m not sure how old David is here. Maybe he’s up in age and closer to death, or maybe he just turned 21. Nonetheless, he realizes that looking from eternity, a man’s life is nothing: it is a breath and gust of wind. We work for 70, maybe 80 years if we are lucky, chasing the dollar and trying to live a good life, but after those 80 years (which seem oh so long for a youth or even a 40 year old) all our work goes to someone else; someone who didn’t even work for it! Such is the state of man, and such is your state and my state, even if we don’t realize it.

So what solves David’s midlife crisis? Does he go out and buy a new chariot and castle? No he doesn’t; David doesn’t find his security in wealth or things. Does he go out and solve his crisis by finding a new woman to enjoy? Well he tried that once and we all know how that worked out. What about doing things for Jesus? Does he set out in a busy path to evangelize the nations, Give! Give! Give! to missions, and do more religious things and stuff and activity? Surprisingly, he doesn’t even do that. What does David do? He rests. He rests in God, for there is his hope. More specifically, he rests in God’s atoning work for his sins. He doesn’t turn to money, women, or even religious activity, even if that activity is seemingly good and right. David has learned the key that most Christians today, including myself, need to learn. Christianity isn’t about doing good stuff for Jesus. It isn’t about rushing endlessly from activity to activity, because even in those good and right activities, we can hide from Jesus. We can get so caught up in missions work that we not only forget about what Jesus has done for us, but we use that good stuff to hide from His word and even use it as our self-righteousness. This is not to say that missions work and good works are not imperative. It is rather to say that Christianity is less about doing stuff and more about resting in the “stuff” that Christ has done for us (this is from something I ran across the other day). From this flows the rest of the things we must do.

So David finds meaning in what Christ has done for us, and not in what he has done or can do or in any sin. So, echoing a speech I once gave, my question for you and me is where do we go for meaning? Where do we find our identity? Is it in stuff, sin, and ourselves, or is it in Christ? Salvation, justification, sanctification, glorification, and union are the only things that are eternally significant; therefore, they are the only things in this life that can possibly give us meaning and solve our own personal identity and existential crises. That means that someone who is so caught up in sin, idolatry, or religious stuff can’t ever find meaning. That also means that Andy the Atheist or Ally the Agnostic can never find meaning either. Search yourselves; you know it to be true. You work for 80 years, and then you die. Nothing is there. Nothing except salvation and union with Christ. We would do well to remember that.